20 Things I Won't Do at Your Phoenix Wedding Reception

As your professional Phoenix wedding DJ, I will do whatever it takes to insure that your wedding reception is smooth-flowing, fun-filled and stress-free.

However, I will NOT do the following:

  1.  Offer $100 coupons as an advertising gimmick to market my services.

  2.  Pay a $50 kickback to a resort catering director for your referral.

  3.  Sell your wedding to another DJ if a more profitable event comes along.

  4.  Perform magic tricks, tap dance or bring hula hoops.

  5.  Begin every announcement with "Ladies & Gentlemen, at this time ...." 

  6.  Embarrass your guests with suggestive, off-color humor.

  7.  Invite prospective clients to your reception to market my services.

  8.  Try to DJ your wedding with an iPod and a pair of discount speakers.

  9.  Do Karaoke so Uncle Fred can try to sing Your Cheating Heart.

 10. Display a six foot gaudy banner to advertise my services.

 11. Place my business cards and flyers on your guests' tables.

 12. Bring "assistants" who will eat your food and dance with your guests.

 13. Play music with offensive lyrics.

 14. Mispronounce names when introducing your wedding party.

 15. Chatter continuously like an annoying game show host.

 16. Wear a shiny silver vest with black jeans and call it a tuxedo.

 17. Use a cheap microphone so you can't understand what I'm saying.

 18. Charge extra for a wireless microphone or dance floor lights.

 19. Transport my equipment in "borrowed" milk crates.

 20. Disregard the songs you've requested.